For the most part, Jack is quite content. He loves coloring, playing with his "Edward" train (which looks like Thomas, so that's what we call him), and tackling us with the football. But, he still cries whenever I tell him we're going to Auntie's (daycare). It's so frustrating - I still have to keep down the overwhelming feelings of guilt as if squelching vomit.
Lately, Jack's been adding his crying routine at the end of the day. Yes, he gets upset when we leave Auntie's. He initially waves good-bye to everyone, but by the time we're out the door, he starts to get upset. I ask him if he wants to go home and he shakes his Ed, "no." I don't know- maybe he's just getting used to being in one place and hates change. Boy, I can relate. I crave a secure schedule, too, babe. I think we gave that up when we moved to Boston. Someone recently told me that maybe striving to be the perfect parent is too stressful; instead maybe I should focus on "good-enough" parenting. I'm not sure I like the sound of that- it makes me think of kids whose parents play with them for the obligatory 20 minutes at the end of the day and feed them just enough of the right combination of foods. I do think changing my approach would be helpful- instead of worrying about Jack's separation anxiety, I should be thinking about the fact that he gets to see mom and dad equally throughout the week, and though rarely are the three of us together, it does occassionally happen.
The little man has been talking more and more. He grabbed an empty Eggo box out of the garbage (the recycling garbabe- all cardboard. Don't worry, my "good enough" parenting doesn't include leaving dangerous garbage within easy reach- some garbage, maybe). He exclaimed, "waffles!" He can now say 'yes' when prompted, but mostly chooses to stand up on his toes and grunt excitedly when he wants what is offered. Jack also says "cold" clear as (the cold) day. When we walk outside, he grabs his arm as if to show shivering and says "cold." Or, when he plays in the fridge too long (hello electricity bills). The other day he was actually reading from his picture book- it was one of those everyday things that seems like a miracle when your own child does it. Jack likes to sit in the big rocking chair in his room and look through his books; one of his favorites is a picture ABC book. He opened the opening pages (with a sampling of objects) pointed to the car and said "car." He then pointed to the books and said "books." Then he turned to the "A" page, pointed to the apples and said, "apple." I was stunned. Of course, I just nodded along, not making too big of a deal out of it because I knew that, true to form, he would do this trick once and then put it away for a few weeks (like everything).
The hitting has become less frequent, thank God. Two weeks ago I had a glimpse into Jack's teenage years- you know, those years when I'm not too sure that parents actually like their children. Driving home from one of my afternoon classes, I realized that I was going to pick up a small person who would no doubt be cranky and slap me. And, I have no choice but to deal with it in some way. For now, at least, I've genuinely enjoyed hanging out with him. I've even had those rare overwhelming feelings of "you're soooo cute," kissing him way too many times on the cheek. Gush. Gush.
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