Jack Talk

About a week ago, Jack and I went upstairs to visit the landlords and their kids. Jack LOVES Colleen- the four year old. I don't know if it is because she is the same age as his cousin, Lily, whom he also adores, but whenever he hears her, he gets excited.

Colleen was doing very little to make Jack laugh hysterically - running around the house, jumping out behind furniture. At one point, though, she tried to keep Jack from sitting on my lap. Immediately, Jack stood his ground, jutted his pointy finger at her, and exclaimed a very clear, well, something. It sounded like a mix of "mine," "mom," and "no." He was probably saying all three. I was partly shocked, but also pretty impressed with his ability to set a boundary. Strong-willed Colleen cowered to my toddler, and needed some cuddling to get over it.

In the last few days, Jack has made the connection between shaking his head and "no." It's mostly been a game- I ask if he wants something and he'll shake his head no, smiling with his new communication skill. Tonight we read a Blue's Clues book and when I asked him if there was a clue on the page, he would shake his head no - in a somewhat impatient, proud sort of way. Now, I don't know why it is that kids learn how to say no before yes - or maybe that's just my impression. I guess we (adults) say no more than we say yes. (No, don't eat that crayon, No, stay off the street..).

I do love that Jack doesn't have to say yes or no for me to understand him. And, I think he's smiling when he shakes his head "no" because he knows that I'll figure out what he is saying with our without the clear signal. I wonder when that clear communication gets lost- when, in part because of language, we don't comprehend the other as well. Because he can't talk, I have learned ot understand him based on facial expressions or mere inflections in his babbling. I suppose I'm just aware of how much I rely on non-verbal communication because there is hardly any verbal communication. I wonder, too, how much we rely on non-verbal communication to determine what other people around us are "saying" - but are so unconscious in our interpretation of the non-verbal clues, that we don't even know how we arrive at the conclusions we often do.

Here's to hoping that I can hear what Jack says as well as I can understand all that he doesn't say- and to encourage him to be as genuine as possible- so that those non-verbal cues actually match the verbal ones (can you imagine?).