When we were at my mom's this last Christmas, Jack spent an entire evening taking care of one of my niece's Cabbage Patch Dolls: picking it up, rocking it, patting it on the back, putting it to bed and telling us to "shhhh." It was adorable. I meant to get one of the cabbage patch babies when we got back to Boston, but Jack wasn't interested in babies. But, lately, Jack has been signing "more" whenever we see a baby or read about a baby. Apparently, he wants a baby. And, since we aren't about to produce another baby, Jack and I went to Toys R Us today and picked out a baby doll. We got one that came with a little car seat holder- and I picked up the stroller that goes with it.
When we got home, he was VERY interested in the stroller. As soon as I got it set up, he threw baby to the side (head first, mind you), and pushed the stroller all over the house. And, baby wasn't allowed in- only his puppy. Mmm... not sure what this means. Maybe he didn't want the baby afterall - maybe he just misses his friends at day care because he's been home sick. Who knows. I'm just glad that the baby and stroller was under $20.
Jack's sleeping now (thank goodness - the phelgm is on its way out). Baby's on the floor in his baby carriage. Puppy is sleeping next to Jack and the stroller is parked next to his mail carrier. I must admit, I hoped to "play" with baby quite a bit more (and not so much interested in pushing a stroller, that's way too short for me, all around). Maybe we do need another baby (girl, girl, girl). Maybe not (yet).
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Wish the germs would freeze and die
Jack's picked up his 28th cold of the season- and it's a doozy. He's coughing and sneezing 2 full tablespoons of snot every 5 minutes (you think I'm kidding, I'm not). I feel so bad for him. Doc said it's just a cold (duh). We just put him down loaded full of fever and snot reducing meds. Day care lady thinks the weather's to blame; it's too warm for the germs; they just hang around. I'll trade freezing winds for stuffed up Jack anyday.
Monday, January 16, 2006
The Mommy Factor
Jack turned 18 months old yesterday. I should be amazed at all the things that parents of an 18-month old are. Among them, that he is completely unafraid of running through the malls despite nearly everyone around him is at least three times his size. Also, the fact that he can understand perfectly even though he still speaks fluent toddlertalk.
Me: “Jack, do you want Daddy to read you books?”
Jack: a clear “no.”
Me: “Jack, do you want Mommy to read you books?”
Jack: a not so clear excited “uh” that means yes.
Honestly, I’m more amazed at the fact that I can put Jack to bed by 7:30 and have a full three hours to do what I want. I still can’t believe that the women out their who are also devoted mothers have to pretty much give up themselves for up to a year (some less, some longer), to be at the beck and call of some crying, pooping thing – someone you don’t know at all. AND – when we do begin to crawl back to a life that somewhat resembles life B.B. (before baby), we feel pangs of guilt for spending time away from said babe.
Jack’s been so mommy-centered lately. As the conversation above illustrates, Jack prefers me over Ed. The kid is reverting back to the first few month of is life when I would sit in the back room with the door locked, trying desperately to convince students from three online classes that I knew how to teach despite the fact I had no ability to comprehend more than simple sentence structure, let alone provide hardly helpful feedback (to student: “Thesis: not so good. Conclusion: bad.”). Jack cries if I am not playing near him, even if Ed’s there. In his room today, when I was typing, he yelled a long “ahhhhhhhh” at me to come play with his farm (one of the charming side effects of not being able to communicate in English). When I didn’t immediately respond, he came over, grabbed BOTH of my hands and pulled me away from the laptop.
Maybe Jack has been listening to my musings over the difference between Ed’s relationship with Jack and my relationship with him. It seems like Jack has always been able to play on his own for longer periods of time with Ed than with me. Last week, I came home to Ed playing NCAA football on his PS2. He was about 20 minutes into the 40 minute game and Jack was vrooming his cars around the carpet. I was shocked, a little pissed and jealous. I’ve NEVER been able to do anything involving too much attention when Jack’s been awake. And, I’ve tried. Believe me, it would awesome to be able to grade a paper or two or finish some editing with Jack playing near me. Also, when I get up with Jack in the mornings, I have to hold him for at least thirty minutes before he’s ready to start the day. I’ve learned how to cook many different breakfasts with one hand. Ed, on the other hand, is able to set Jack done not two minutes after giving the kid his milk. He then browses the internet (Ed, not Jack) while Jack eats breakfast to Sesame Street.
Lately, I’ve been snapping at Ed for cruising the internet with Jack around, humming cats in the cradle, as if to suggest that Ed is missing out on every precious moment of Jack’s development. Really, I’m just annoyed that I don’t have the autonomy that Ed has with Jack. Sometimes I convince myself that Jack is more secure with Ed; otherwise why would he be so fine to parallel play with his dad while needing to be held and engaged with ALL THE TIME with me? Is it the mommy factor? Or, is it more about the fact that I’ve clearly told Jack (he understands even more than we realize I’m sure) that I am HERE for him, all the time, that I have fully bought this idea that if I’m not constantly engaging him by engaging with him, then I am neglecting him. Ed, on the other hand, has made it clear that he is there for Jack, if only a few feet away, ready to play when Jack needs it. And, he’ll ask for it, clear as day (without the words, of course).
For now, I’m just going to have to (continue to) accept the fact that as mommy, I am, at least for the time being, the life blood. Daddy doesn’t seem to be the significant parent for a while. Fine enough. When Jack comes home after soccer practice moody about not being able to master his bicycle kick, I will sit back with my novel (in the middle of the day!) and remember we ultimately share an equal parenting role.
Me: “Jack, do you want Daddy to read you books?”
Jack: a clear “no.”
Me: “Jack, do you want Mommy to read you books?”
Jack: a not so clear excited “uh” that means yes.
Honestly, I’m more amazed at the fact that I can put Jack to bed by 7:30 and have a full three hours to do what I want. I still can’t believe that the women out their who are also devoted mothers have to pretty much give up themselves for up to a year (some less, some longer), to be at the beck and call of some crying, pooping thing – someone you don’t know at all. AND – when we do begin to crawl back to a life that somewhat resembles life B.B. (before baby), we feel pangs of guilt for spending time away from said babe.
Jack’s been so mommy-centered lately. As the conversation above illustrates, Jack prefers me over Ed. The kid is reverting back to the first few month of is life when I would sit in the back room with the door locked, trying desperately to convince students from three online classes that I knew how to teach despite the fact I had no ability to comprehend more than simple sentence structure, let alone provide hardly helpful feedback (to student: “Thesis: not so good. Conclusion: bad.”). Jack cries if I am not playing near him, even if Ed’s there. In his room today, when I was typing, he yelled a long “ahhhhhhhh” at me to come play with his farm (one of the charming side effects of not being able to communicate in English). When I didn’t immediately respond, he came over, grabbed BOTH of my hands and pulled me away from the laptop.
Maybe Jack has been listening to my musings over the difference between Ed’s relationship with Jack and my relationship with him. It seems like Jack has always been able to play on his own for longer periods of time with Ed than with me. Last week, I came home to Ed playing NCAA football on his PS2. He was about 20 minutes into the 40 minute game and Jack was vrooming his cars around the carpet. I was shocked, a little pissed and jealous. I’ve NEVER been able to do anything involving too much attention when Jack’s been awake. And, I’ve tried. Believe me, it would awesome to be able to grade a paper or two or finish some editing with Jack playing near me. Also, when I get up with Jack in the mornings, I have to hold him for at least thirty minutes before he’s ready to start the day. I’ve learned how to cook many different breakfasts with one hand. Ed, on the other hand, is able to set Jack done not two minutes after giving the kid his milk. He then browses the internet (Ed, not Jack) while Jack eats breakfast to Sesame Street.
Lately, I’ve been snapping at Ed for cruising the internet with Jack around, humming cats in the cradle, as if to suggest that Ed is missing out on every precious moment of Jack’s development. Really, I’m just annoyed that I don’t have the autonomy that Ed has with Jack. Sometimes I convince myself that Jack is more secure with Ed; otherwise why would he be so fine to parallel play with his dad while needing to be held and engaged with ALL THE TIME with me? Is it the mommy factor? Or, is it more about the fact that I’ve clearly told Jack (he understands even more than we realize I’m sure) that I am HERE for him, all the time, that I have fully bought this idea that if I’m not constantly engaging him by engaging with him, then I am neglecting him. Ed, on the other hand, has made it clear that he is there for Jack, if only a few feet away, ready to play when Jack needs it. And, he’ll ask for it, clear as day (without the words, of course).
For now, I’m just going to have to (continue to) accept the fact that as mommy, I am, at least for the time being, the life blood. Daddy doesn’t seem to be the significant parent for a while. Fine enough. When Jack comes home after soccer practice moody about not being able to master his bicycle kick, I will sit back with my novel (in the middle of the day!) and remember we ultimately share an equal parenting role.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Jack's barking again
He's been mucus-free for nearly two entire weeks and I was just starting to take his health for granted. But, not so- last night I woke up at 1:00 to his barking cough, felt bad for him and sat with him for an hour.
Here's the thing about parenting: everyone says be consistent, yet everything is on such a case-by-case basis. For example, Jack's been getting up a bit more often at night, and he's beginning to expect that we will come in and sooth him. Understandable, because, well, as parents, it's our instinct to sooth. But, too much sooting becomes a problem. And, there's no clear demarcation of the boundary here- only subtle signs like lengthier crying to let us know we've moved on from soothing to coddling. Last night was an obvious (?) exception. If he feels like shit, he needs some comfort. I sat by his crib, rubbing his head through the bars, knowing that when (and if) he gets rid of this cold, that we'd be going through some sleep training to remind Jack that yes, indeed, he can fall asleep back on his own.
Jack turns 18 months on the 15th - it's my goal to keep his blog updated more frequently than the once-a-month posts that seem to be ocurring. In the midst of the balancing act that is parental love, I'll be posting some pictures soon.
Here's the thing about parenting: everyone says be consistent, yet everything is on such a case-by-case basis. For example, Jack's been getting up a bit more often at night, and he's beginning to expect that we will come in and sooth him. Understandable, because, well, as parents, it's our instinct to sooth. But, too much sooting becomes a problem. And, there's no clear demarcation of the boundary here- only subtle signs like lengthier crying to let us know we've moved on from soothing to coddling. Last night was an obvious (?) exception. If he feels like shit, he needs some comfort. I sat by his crib, rubbing his head through the bars, knowing that when (and if) he gets rid of this cold, that we'd be going through some sleep training to remind Jack that yes, indeed, he can fall asleep back on his own.
Jack turns 18 months on the 15th - it's my goal to keep his blog updated more frequently than the once-a-month posts that seem to be ocurring. In the midst of the balancing act that is parental love, I'll be posting some pictures soon.
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